How to Build Instant Rapport With Anyone

By Victoria Lioznyansky, M.S., M.A.

As an introverted entrepreneur, I used to dread social situations and networking events. The idea of walking into a room full of strangers and making meaningful connections felt utterly exhausting. It’s just not my natural habitat.

But, we all have to network and meet new people in order to grow our careers or businesses. And over the years, I’ve learned how to build instant rapport with anyone. It’s actually one of my biggest strengths.

And I want to teach you my proven system that will help you build rapport with even the most difficult people. Whether you’re trying to land a new client, ace a job interview, or simply make a new connection, this skill is the key to building a solid relationship.

With the right strategies, anyone can master the art of building instant rapport. Even if you’re an introvert or have social anxiety. Let’s dive into 12 key techniques that will allow you to do this in any situation.

1. Don’t ‘Fake it Til You Make it’

I know you’ve heard the advice “fake it til you make it”. And it can be tempting to try and put on a persona or pretend to be someone you’re not. Especially if you’re feeling imposter syndrome and want to come across as more polished or professional.

But this approach is self-sabotaging. People can sense when you’re being inauthentic. And you can’t build rapport if the other person doesn’t trust you.

Instead, embrace who you are and be yourself. Not only will it come off as more genuine and allow you to build rapport, but you’re also going to attract and build rapport with the right people. People who respect who you are and want to form a relationship. People who will remember you and recommend you to business or career contacts.

2. Make a Proper Introduction

This sounds self-explanatory. We all know that first impressions matter. But sometimes we wait for others to approach or make a weak introduction because we’re nervous or busy. Or we rattle off an over-rehearsed elevator pitch.

Instead, just remember to do these three things. Make eye contact, give a firm handshake, and make a warm, confident introduction.

This introduction shouldn’t just be your name and title. Frame it in a way that highlights how you can benefit the other person.

For instance, I don’t just say “I’m Victoria Lioznyansky and I’m a public speaking coach.” Instead, I say something like “I'm Victoria Lioznyansky and I help professionals and entrepreneurs overcome their fear of public speaking.” This instantly makes it clear what I do and how I can help them or someone they know.

Remember to acknowledge everyone in the space, not just the person you're directly talking to. Scan the group, make eye contact, and greet each individual. This small gesture goes a long way in making everyone feel seen and included.

3. Approach with Respect and Genuine Regard

At the heart of all great relationships is a sense of mutual respect and genuine regard. When you truly care about the other person and approach them with empathy and an open mind, it creates a positive relationship.

This doesn't mean you have to be best friends or share a deep personal connection. But it does mean taking a genuine interest in the other person, listening attentively, and making them feel valued and appreciated.

Avoid the temptation to view the interaction as a one-way transaction, where you're just trying to get something from the other person. Instead, approach it as an exchange - an opportunity to learn, grow, and make a meaningful connection.

4. Show Up as an Equal

While you always want to approach others with respect and humility, you also want to make sure that you’re showing up with confidence. 

Avoid the tendency to apologize excessively, downplay your accomplishments, or position yourself as "less than" the other person. This can subconsciously signal that you don't believe you're worthy of their time or attention.

Instead, carry yourself with quiet self-assurance. Acknowledge the other person's status or achievements with sincere respect, but don't put yourself down in the process. Remember that you have inherent value to offer, and approach the interaction as an equal.

5. Share Your Passion and Excitement

Enthusiasm and passion are contagious - when you show genuine excitement about what you do, it draws people in and makes them want to be a part of it.

However, it's important to strike the right balance. Showing too much excitement can come across as nervous, disingenuous, or even manipulative. Instead, aim for a calm, steady enthusiasm that reflects your authentic passion.

Let your eyes light up, your voice come alive, and your body language convey your excitement. But avoid the temptation to overcompensate or "oversell" yourself. Stay grounded, centered, and self-aware. Allow your genuine enthusiasm to shine through naturally.

6. Find Common Ground 

One of the most powerful ways to build instant rapport is to find common ground with the other person. This could be shared interests, experiences, or other connections–like mutual friends or attending the same university.

When you identify common ground, it creates an immediate sense of familiarity and belonging. The other person suddenly knows, likes, and trusts you significantly more than when you first met.

Pay close attention during the conversation, and be on the lookout for opportunities to make these connections. Listen for clues about the other person's background, hobbies, or professional experiences, and follow up with thoughtful questions acknowledging what you have in common.

7. Stay Present and Listen Attentively 

When you're talking to someone, resist the tendency to think about your next response while the other person is talking. It’s something we all do, but strive to stay as present as possible.

Give the other person your full, undivided attention. Make eye contact, nod along, and ask thoughtful follow-up questions that show you're truly absorbing what they're saying.

This level of attention makes the other person feel heard, valued, and understood. It sends the message that you're genuinely interested in them as a person, not just what they can do for you. And it lays the foundation for a deeper, more meaningful connection.

"The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when one asked me what I thought, and attended to my answer." — Henry David Thoreau

8. Use the Other Person's Name 

There's a reason why Dale Carnegie emphasizes the power of using people’s names in "How to Win Friends and Influence People." Hearing our own name makes us feel recognized, valued, and important. Carnegie even went so far as to say, “a person’s name is to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”

Make a conscious effort to use the other person's name throughout your conversation. Incorporate it naturally into your greeting, your questions, and your responses. This small gesture goes a long way in building rapport. As a bonus, it also helps you better remember their name.

Just be sure not to overdo it and use their name in every single sentence. You don't want it to feel forced or unnatural. Strike a balance that feels genuine and authentic to your communication style.

9. Be Prepared

Preparation is the key to easy conversations with anyone because it allows you to be fully present and engaged. You’re not scrambling, trying to remember important details or come up with talking points on the fly - you’re able to just go with the flow, and that confidence will draw people to you.

Whenever you can, take the time to research the other people you’ll be speaking with in a given situation. Think through potential questions or topics they may want to discuss and outline key points you want to make.’

For planned meetings, this is pretty simple. For networking events with lots of people, this can look like researching the other attendees you’re most interested in meeting.

And if you're ever caught off guard by a question or topic you're unsure about, don't be afraid to admit it. Which brings me to my next point:

10. Be Honest and Admit Mistakes

Honesty and transparency (or a lack thereof) can make or break the rapport that you’re trying to build. We trust people who are authentic and true to their word. If we catch someone in a lie, we instantly lose that trust for them.

On the other hand, when someone is transparent about their mistakes and shortcomings, we tend to like them more. This is known as the Pratfall Effect. We feel safe and reliable around someone because they’re showing us a side of themselves that is less perfect and more vulnerable. 

This also means admitting when you don’t know the answer to a question, instead of trying to formulate an answer you think they want to hear. And if you do accidentally misstep and say something dishonest, quickly own up to it and apologize.

In the future, commit to being upfront about what you know, what you don’t know, and what you can realistically deliver. This level of integrity and accountability is incredibly powerful in building lasting rapport.

11. Be Gracious

You’ll inevitably have to deliver bad news, reject an offer, or correct someone - at least occasionally. But how you approach this matters. Phrase negative statements as kindly and respectfully as possible.

Avoid blunt, accusatory language like "You're wrong" or "That's not going to work." You’ve also probably heard the phrase “‘No’ is a full sentence,” but that’s not geared towards someone you’re trying to build a professional relationship with.

Instead, try the "sandwich" approach - starting and ending something critical with positive statements, helps soften the blow and keeps the focus on finding collaborative solutions.

For example, instead of saying “No, I don’t like that idea,” you might say, “I appreciate you bringing that up. While that approach may not be the best fit here, I’d love to explore other options together.”

Remember, the goal isn't to sugarcoat the truth or avoid difficult conversations. It's to have those conversations in a way that upholds mutual respect and maintains the rapport you've worked so hard to build.

12. Mirror the Other Person 

I consider this the "secret weapon" to build instant rapport with anyone. By subtly mirroring the other person's communication style, body language, and overall energy, you unconsciously create a sense of familiarity and comfort. It’s like you’re “in sync” with them.

We instinctively like and trust people who are similar to us. Now, I’m not suggesting you act inauthentically here. Nor that you should parrot what they do. But, do take note of their tone, cadence, volume, and body language. If they’re speaking quietly, lowering your own volume can instantly make the conversation feel more natural.

The key is to avoid overdoing it - you don’t want to come across as mocking or disingenuous. Mirroring should be fluid and natural, allowing you to meet the other person where they’re at.

Building Rapport & Public Speaking

Once you master these skills, you’ll be able to build instant rapport with virtually anyone you meet. Whether you’re attending a networking event, sitting down for a job interview, or hopping on a sales call, you’ll be able to establish genuine connections.

But in addition to one-on-one conversations, many professionals also have to speak in front of groups of people in order to thrive in their career or business. If you have a real fear of public speaking, this can feel impossible. And if you’re like many people, you feel like you’ve tried everything, but your confidence still goes out the window the moment all eyes are on you.

That’s why I put together this FREE resource: 5 PROVEN Steps You Can Take to Boost Your Public Speaking Confidence Right Now!

Inside, you’ll learn why nothing you’ve tried before has worked… and the evidence-backed strategies you can use instead to boost your confidence.

These are some of the exact strategies that have helped 100s of executives, entrepreneurs, and high-level professionals conquer their fear for good and show up with influence and authority.

Download your free copy here!