Overcoming the Fear of Public Speaking as an Introvert: 

Client Spotlight Interview with Roos Vos

Victoria:

Today, I brought a special guest on the show. Her name is Roos Vos. She is not only a brilliant entrepreneur, a wonderful mom, and one of the sweetest people I know, but she is also my former client. 

Roos is a business coach based in Amsterdam, Netherlands. With a background in retail and fashion, she has been running an exclusive children's store for 20 years, both online and offline, and she created her own sustainable children's brand. In the last few years, she has worked with entrepreneurs and small business owners, sharing her expertise and helping them achieve fulfillment and balance in both their professional and personal lives. 

Please welcome Roos Vos to the show.

Roos:

Thank you so much, Victoria. It's such an honor that you invited me to your podcast. And yes, it's a pleasure to tell my story.

Victoria:

Let's start with who you are and what your life was like a couple of years ago.

Roos:

Yes, it was completely different than now. I am Roos. I live in Amsterdam in the Netherlands. Right now I'm a business coach for small business owners, and I help them grow their businesses. Before I was a coach, I was already an entrepreneur for 20 years. I have been running my own children's store and my online business, as well as building my children's fashion brand. 

It was quite successful. People loved it. – But then Corona hit the whole world, and I decided not to continue my business anymore. I wondered, what else can I do? And I thought it would be really nice to help other entrepreneurs with things they are struggling with. I started following some trainings to become a coach and learn the skillset. 

I also learned that if I was starting a new business, I had to be visible on camera, on video, and show myself… and I had no experience in that. As an entrepreneur in a store, I was just one-on-one with clients, and now I had to show myself to the world in a new profession. 

I knew I could grow my business more quickly if I showed myself on camera. I did some training to improve my skills, and it was good, but it was the standard way of training confidence. Like go out and just do it. At that moment it was okay, and I did it. But after a couple of months, I felt the same again and I started hiding again. My bad feelings about myself and being too aware of bringing my message out in the world returned. 

I found a podcast or video where you were being interviewed, and I knew this is my solution. This is what I need. You talked about your program, introverts, and how it is difficult for introverts to just do it. That really resonated with me. I sent you an email and you sent an email back. Then you invited me to your coaching program. That's how it all started.

Victoria:

I remember reading your first email, and you were telling me what you've done. And I'm like, oh my gosh, here is somebody. 

Every time I meet a new client who's done so much and is still not confident about speaking, it reminds me how our general confidence in who we are and what we can do doesn't correlate with our confidence live on camera speaking in front of other people. You've been so incredibly successful with your children's store offline and online. People should be flocking to you to learn from you because the skills that you have are just unbelievable. 

That's why you started coaching because you know how much you can change people's lives with your knowledge, with your wisdom, and with your experience. 

When you were talking about your experience, you were like, “Oh, yeah, I totally got it.” I feel so confident about it. Then you start transposing that confidence into speaking, and all of a sudden, that confidence is gone and the imposter syndrome kicks in. You are so much more than what you think when you are in front of an audience. 

It happens to everyone. I remember our first conversations when I suggested starting a podcast or having you on my podcast. I remember you asking, “Oh, no, no, please.” 

That was the starting point. Tell me in what way do you think you have changed in the last couple of years? How is your career different? How is your life different? What changes did you notice in the way you show up, in the way you present yourself, and in the way you talk to clients?

Roos:

Yeah, it's amazing because it's not the last years, it's the last year since your program. Everybody who's listening, who's an introvert and who knows the feeling deep inside, knows it's such an uncomfortable feeling that you find ways not to be a speaker. You find excuses. It's so deep, and your whole life is built around not speaking in public. 

The way you teach and your program, it's step-by-step. You feel less anxiety. You feel very natural. It's not from the outside - it's really from the inside. 

I remember you asked me to post a livestream, and I put the camera upside down. It was vertical instead of horizontal, and I felt so uncomfortable. I think I did it 10 more times. The way you helped me go through that was so supportive. Everything is fine. It doesn't have to be perfect. 

You know all these things, but you need to feel it. That's what your strength is. You can help get through the anxiety, through the fears. Now I did a New Year's video, six minutes on LinkedIn, in one shot. And I thought, yeah, it's nice. It’s not like this is my favorite thing to do, but it's normal. It's part of my work. 

One of my deepest desires was to start my own podcast. I had a very nice interview with an entrepreneur fashion designer. She had such a beautiful story. I knew it was time to start, and the next week I had my first podcast. And I was not worried. I felt excited. It's not a deep struggle anymore. It's freeing. It's really freeing.

Victoria:

I love how you put it that it's freeing because that's exactly how I felt when I became my own speaker by conquering my fear of public speaking. I am also an introvert just like you. And yes, it feels absolutely impossible when you’re scared. You don’t believe it could be you one day. 

Then all of a sudden, a year later, you’re hosting your own podcast. You’re interviewing these wonderful people. You’re impacting so many hundreds and thousands of people right now just with your work. And with a podcast, it's probably going to be eventually hundreds of thousands of people. 

The journey you’ve been on is just amazing to me. Remembering you the first couple of weeks in the program and listening to you now saying that it just feels freeing, saying it's just not that big of a deal anymore. It just feels so wonderful. 

I want to commend you on taking everything that I gave you and actually applying it. Because another thing that you mentioned is that my goal was never to change things from the outside. It was always changing things from within. 

Only when you change the way you view yourself, the way you view public speaking, the way you view everything around you, and you make those lasting shifts in yourself – only then are you no longer afraid. 

Even if you don't do anything, you will never revert because once that fear is gone, it's gone.

Roos:

It's amazing. I'm 55 and for 54 years, I was afraid. I don’t even remember when it started. I was just shy and it's not a comfortable feeling. And that's over now. It's amazing! And people don't understand if you talk about it when you are that shy person, people don't understand if they have that comfortable feeling with speaking. 

You see these people who have such an easy time with speaking. I wish I had that. It's such a deep desire because you know it opens so much more.

Victoria:

Now you're one of those people. You're one of those people who others look at and think, “Oh, I wish I was as natural as Roos. She just has it. She just has this gift.” Don't people ask you that? And you're like, no, I'm not natural. 

So, what are your plans for the future? How do you want to grow your coaching business? Maybe anything that has to do with more visibility, with more speaking, or just with more showing up?

Roos:

I have huge plans. I want to have my own group program, a coaching group for small business owners who want to grow their businesses and who struggle with limiting beliefs. I hope that group will grow.

Victoria:

Any plans to appear on your podcast? Are you trying to appear in the media to build your coaching practice?

Roos:

Yes, that will be lovely as well. Right now I'm doing everything in Dutch, but maybe I'm going to start being interviewed here internationally in English and tell my story and help other people. Both on podcasts and maybe also in the media. 

I'm not sure about standing on a stage yet, but it's not a never, it's a yet. I sometimes imagine myself standing on a stage. It's not impossible.

Victoria:

If we catch up in a year, I guarantee you're going to be telling me, “Oh, and by the way, I just did this huge event in Amsterdam where I was standing and talking in front of thousands of people. That it wasn’t a big deal, and I just felt so confident.”

Roos:

Yes, it is possible. It's a step-by-step process. You'd never feel the same as before. You're not going to lose it anymore.

Victoria:

Thank you so much, Roos. I am so happy for you. Good luck on your journey. Good luck with your business. And I just cannot wait to catch up again.

Roos:

Thank you so much for all your help and all your support. I hope a lot of people who feel the same will step into your program because it's really worth it. It'll help your business and your life, everything.